I'm doing better. Yesterday I even wore makeup and a dress! Progress!
Seriously, things are looking up. :) Though we're pretty bad at being broken up, considering we talk all the time. I just consider it as weening off the relationship. Is that a mistake that will possibly be more painful in the future? Probably.
It made it very official when I had to put on my claddaugh in the opposite way than I had worn it all year. Now I have the awkward urge to sing, "Single Ladies". As my friend Kyla put it, "EMILY, NOW YOU CAN BE A HO IF YOU WANTED TO".
Indeed.
Now for topics that aren't icky boys!
I went to my first ENWR yesterday (mandatory writing class for 1st years) entitled Utopias and Dystopias. I think you'll appreciate the fact that we watched... WALL-E. We analyzed it for it's aspects of consumerism and environmentalism and such, and it was really interesting. My group was concentrating on WALL-E as a product and if the movie was helping it's cause more than hurting it- and we agreed that yes, although the movie has a nice message, it was simply made out of the demand from the environmental movement, and in the long run, Pixar is only a large cooperation seeking income and producing junk (like toys and advertisements for the movie). I think I'll really like that class. :)
Today I have my first calc quiz. Blah.
Last time I hung out with Randall I dropped my phone onto a nice soft blanket on a nice soft rug, and it broke. Gradually the right hinge has been coming off, until recently my phone started just dangling on one side. Oops. So last week I called and filed an insurance claim. How grown up of me. Yesterday my new EnV 2 got delivered and I spent hours transferring all my contacts by hand. But it was worth it, because now I have a crisp and snappy new phone. Happy days.
I have ordered all my textbooks, but not have arrived. Hate.
Today I am going to go downtown with my suitemates to eat cheap dumpings (which are delicious) and go see our other suitemate, Deandra's, play! Today will be good. :)
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
New beginnings. At least, that's what I'm telling myself.
As facebook told you, Christian and I are no longer together. It's a decision I've been struggling with from the very beginning of our relationship, and I guess it reached it's boiling point.
It's always been hard being long distance. When you need the person most, you have to settle for a phone call. Being away harbors all sorts of negative thoughts and outlooks, but then, when you're together again, all of those thoughts vanish and you're unexceptionably happy. It's a viscious cycle, and I'm surprised we've lasted and stayed as strong as we have. Most people give up around Thanksgiving (unofficially called the "Turkey dump" because you go home and realize what's holding you back), but we made it further.
It was a surprise that it happened yesterday. Nothing I could have predicted when I woke up in the morning. I had been off, and I hadn't been being a good girlfriend. My thoughts were elsewhere: negative, like usual. I had come to the conclusion that we would need to break up, because, as my roommate stated, "There are only two ends to a relationship: you break up, or you get married", which put a realistic spin on my situation. If I knew it wouldn't last, why was I wasting my time with a long distance relationship during my first year of college? It would only get more messy and more painful, and I wanted nothing more than to be able to end our relationship on amicable terms. Plus, breaking up with someone during their midterms would be a bitch move.
But it happened. He called me, demanding me tell him what was up, and I eventually told him. I'd say it was mutual, but it never would have happened if I hadn't brought it up. Though I suppose it's good, because he admitted he'd had some similar realizations. So after two confusing and emotional hours of our situation and options, we decided it would be best to break up. It wasn't painful and we ended our phone conversation laughing, promising that we would still talk regularly because, quite honestly, we're the only people who really know one another fully. We've been best friends, and neither of us are ready to give that up- hence our matching statuses. We didn't want mass comments asking what was wrong.
It's been hard. More hard than I ever thought it would be, but I think it's for the better. I hope it's for the better. I still can't comprehend it fully, and I can't think about it in public for risk of falling apart again.
Like, for instance, tomorrow is the one-year anniversary of our first date alone together. He came over to my house after school the day it snowed and they wouldn't let us drive home. Ms. Roof drove us, and we sat on the couch awkwardly through a movie. Not to mention Valentines Day is right around the corner- our official one-year anniversary. I wanted so badly to make it to one year. I had every confidence that we would, and now I'll spend the day miserable instead...
But now I'm just moping. It's hard, but it'll all be okay. Our relationship was good and good and good and it means more to me than anything in the world. I'm so glad I could experience something as wonderful as him. Everything happens for a reason.
At least, that's what I'm telling myself.
It's always been hard being long distance. When you need the person most, you have to settle for a phone call. Being away harbors all sorts of negative thoughts and outlooks, but then, when you're together again, all of those thoughts vanish and you're unexceptionably happy. It's a viscious cycle, and I'm surprised we've lasted and stayed as strong as we have. Most people give up around Thanksgiving (unofficially called the "Turkey dump" because you go home and realize what's holding you back), but we made it further.
It was a surprise that it happened yesterday. Nothing I could have predicted when I woke up in the morning. I had been off, and I hadn't been being a good girlfriend. My thoughts were elsewhere: negative, like usual. I had come to the conclusion that we would need to break up, because, as my roommate stated, "There are only two ends to a relationship: you break up, or you get married", which put a realistic spin on my situation. If I knew it wouldn't last, why was I wasting my time with a long distance relationship during my first year of college? It would only get more messy and more painful, and I wanted nothing more than to be able to end our relationship on amicable terms. Plus, breaking up with someone during their midterms would be a bitch move.
But it happened. He called me, demanding me tell him what was up, and I eventually told him. I'd say it was mutual, but it never would have happened if I hadn't brought it up. Though I suppose it's good, because he admitted he'd had some similar realizations. So after two confusing and emotional hours of our situation and options, we decided it would be best to break up. It wasn't painful and we ended our phone conversation laughing, promising that we would still talk regularly because, quite honestly, we're the only people who really know one another fully. We've been best friends, and neither of us are ready to give that up- hence our matching statuses. We didn't want mass comments asking what was wrong.
It's been hard. More hard than I ever thought it would be, but I think it's for the better. I hope it's for the better. I still can't comprehend it fully, and I can't think about it in public for risk of falling apart again.
Like, for instance, tomorrow is the one-year anniversary of our first date alone together. He came over to my house after school the day it snowed and they wouldn't let us drive home. Ms. Roof drove us, and we sat on the couch awkwardly through a movie. Not to mention Valentines Day is right around the corner- our official one-year anniversary. I wanted so badly to make it to one year. I had every confidence that we would, and now I'll spend the day miserable instead...
But now I'm just moping. It's hard, but it'll all be okay. Our relationship was good and good and good and it means more to me than anything in the world. I'm so glad I could experience something as wonderful as him. Everything happens for a reason.
At least, that's what I'm telling myself.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Band banquet and grilled cheese.
I just got back from selling grilled cheese, very illegally, to drunk people on the Corner for $3 each. Before you judge me and me new life of crime, it was a fundraiser for my spring break trip. It was tons of fun, minus the fact it was freezing, and the only boy left so we had no idea how to change the charcoal on the grill and almost burnt down UVA and got told we would get, "a shit ton fine if a cop came by". Fun times. Though in our defense people sell grilled cheese all the time and a cop DID walk by, but he only waved. I'm glad I went, and I'm glad I agreed to go on the trip. I really like the people in my group, even if I am the baby as the only first year. I cannot wait.
Last night was band banquet, which was fun. Imagine our band banquet, but a million times fancier, and a million times longer. It was in a hotel ballroom and the dress was prom gowns and tuxes. We ate a delicious, and also fancy dinner, and sat through award after award after award. Every single person got something, so we sat through listing everyones names (like graduation). First years got a UVA letter, so I can now say I lettered... in college? What's the point of that? 2nd years got a mug, 3rd years a blanket, and 4th years a framed portrait of the band. Cute.
Not only did every person get something, but the 4th years each got a speech about them by the director. All 50 4th years got a speech. So long. So so so long.
But it was a lot of fun, and I can clearly picture myself in 3 years sitting at the table crying my eyes out as I watch the emotional slideshows. "You'll be a wahoo forever, hooray." :)
So there is an update into my life.
Oh, and relationships suck. Hard. More on that later. Maybe.
Last night was band banquet, which was fun. Imagine our band banquet, but a million times fancier, and a million times longer. It was in a hotel ballroom and the dress was prom gowns and tuxes. We ate a delicious, and also fancy dinner, and sat through award after award after award. Every single person got something, so we sat through listing everyones names (like graduation). First years got a UVA letter, so I can now say I lettered... in college? What's the point of that? 2nd years got a mug, 3rd years a blanket, and 4th years a framed portrait of the band. Cute.
Not only did every person get something, but the 4th years each got a speech about them by the director. All 50 4th years got a speech. So long. So so so long.
But it was a lot of fun, and I can clearly picture myself in 3 years sitting at the table crying my eyes out as I watch the emotional slideshows. "You'll be a wahoo forever, hooray." :)
So there is an update into my life.
Oh, and relationships suck. Hard. More on that later. Maybe.
Friday, January 22, 2010
2nd semester begins!
I like school. School is cool. School rules, but only when it's not calculus...
I had to do a lot of switching around in my schedule, but today I shall write about the classes that I am officially in as of now!
PHIL 1740- Issues of Life and Death: This class seems like it'll be really thought-provoking and amazing. On the first day of lecture, the professor used examples of controversial death topics that we'd be looking into, such as a baby born without a brain that could still breath. Should doctors take it's body organs if it is still, in a technical sense, alive? And siamese twins, that will both certainly die if they remain together. Should doctors seperate the twins, so one will live, but the other will die? I'm excited. :)
MATH 1210- Applied Calculus 1: This is the easiest math UVA offers. Just what I need. But I think it's still going to kick my butt. Bahaha. We're doing pre-calc review right now, and IT'S kicking my butt. I hate math. Grumble grumble.
ENWR 1510- Utopias and Dystopias: I can't tell you anything about this course, because I haven't attended it. I switched into it from my previous writing class, "Modern Love and Union", which was boring. I only know that we're reading Brave New World and 1984. And the class meets at 8 AM. Ugh.
EVSC 2050- Oceanography: I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CLASS. The teacher is amazing and so skilled in his area and just a genius. His introduction presentation was amazing and had me sitting on the edge of my seat for the entire class. I cannot wait to start getting into topics. Ahhhh. AND, the professor mentioned this other class he helped with regarding environmental science, and I got so jazzed, that I immediately flipped my entire schedule so I could enroll...
EVSC 4502- Undergrad Seminar in Environmental Science: I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CLASS. TOO. Each week there's a different topic and a different speaker or film we watch. Plus the student work is light. I'm pumped. :)
And of course, I'm in Wind Ensemble. We are playing RIDICULOUSLY HARD music, and I will fail. That is all.
I had to do a lot of switching around in my schedule, but today I shall write about the classes that I am officially in as of now!
PHIL 1740- Issues of Life and Death: This class seems like it'll be really thought-provoking and amazing. On the first day of lecture, the professor used examples of controversial death topics that we'd be looking into, such as a baby born without a brain that could still breath. Should doctors take it's body organs if it is still, in a technical sense, alive? And siamese twins, that will both certainly die if they remain together. Should doctors seperate the twins, so one will live, but the other will die? I'm excited. :)
MATH 1210- Applied Calculus 1: This is the easiest math UVA offers. Just what I need. But I think it's still going to kick my butt. Bahaha. We're doing pre-calc review right now, and IT'S kicking my butt. I hate math. Grumble grumble.
ENWR 1510- Utopias and Dystopias: I can't tell you anything about this course, because I haven't attended it. I switched into it from my previous writing class, "Modern Love and Union", which was boring. I only know that we're reading Brave New World and 1984. And the class meets at 8 AM. Ugh.
EVSC 2050- Oceanography: I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CLASS. The teacher is amazing and so skilled in his area and just a genius. His introduction presentation was amazing and had me sitting on the edge of my seat for the entire class. I cannot wait to start getting into topics. Ahhhh. AND, the professor mentioned this other class he helped with regarding environmental science, and I got so jazzed, that I immediately flipped my entire schedule so I could enroll...
EVSC 4502- Undergrad Seminar in Environmental Science: I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CLASS. TOO. Each week there's a different topic and a different speaker or film we watch. Plus the student work is light. I'm pumped. :)
And of course, I'm in Wind Ensemble. We are playing RIDICULOUSLY HARD music, and I will fail. That is all.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Home.
I'm back at UVA. I'm home. Goodness I love this place.
Yesterday my mom cooked a delicious Southern breakfast and Christian came over. But instead of sad goodbyes I made him carry my stuff to the car. I have priorities. Then I got to Courtenay around 3.
Unpacking was pretty horrible. Not as bad as move in day, but on move in day I didn't have my roommates suitcases and clothes coating the entire floor. Haha. But even that was a welcome sign. I walked in, saw it, and thought to myself, "Oh that roommate." I brought some board games and such, so the first thing my suite mates want to do after I unpack- A PUZZLE. WE ARE LOSERS.
And somehow my entire suite coordinated via text message to get tickets for the basketball game that night, so at 6 we all wore matching orange t-shirts (except Elizabeth, who didn't like hers) and went to the stadium. It was SO MUCH FUN. I had just assumed I hated basketball from previous experience, but Osbourn basketball is not the same as UVA basketball. It was thrilling. Better yet, we won! And in the last 2 seconds on top of everything! Wonderful time.
Then we told stories in a Chinese restaurant, got take out, and went back to Courtenay, where we ate and told more stories. Obviously, after dinner it was time for a board game, so we played the most competitive and nasty game of Life that I have ever experienced. People were trading babies and handing bribes all over the place (I probably shouldn't mention that I was the one taking babies and handing out money). I got the good salary, but not the highest salary, so no one would try to take mine and I was just rich throughout the game. Sadly I kept handing out 100,000 donations, so I lost, BUT everyone said I won in the long run, because I was a nice person and I got to go to heaven.
LOVEZ MY SUITE.
Yesterday my mom cooked a delicious Southern breakfast and Christian came over. But instead of sad goodbyes I made him carry my stuff to the car. I have priorities. Then I got to Courtenay around 3.
Unpacking was pretty horrible. Not as bad as move in day, but on move in day I didn't have my roommates suitcases and clothes coating the entire floor. Haha. But even that was a welcome sign. I walked in, saw it, and thought to myself, "Oh that roommate." I brought some board games and such, so the first thing my suite mates want to do after I unpack- A PUZZLE. WE ARE LOSERS.
And somehow my entire suite coordinated via text message to get tickets for the basketball game that night, so at 6 we all wore matching orange t-shirts (except Elizabeth, who didn't like hers) and went to the stadium. It was SO MUCH FUN. I had just assumed I hated basketball from previous experience, but Osbourn basketball is not the same as UVA basketball. It was thrilling. Better yet, we won! And in the last 2 seconds on top of everything! Wonderful time.
Then we told stories in a Chinese restaurant, got take out, and went back to Courtenay, where we ate and told more stories. Obviously, after dinner it was time for a board game, so we played the most competitive and nasty game of Life that I have ever experienced. People were trading babies and handing bribes all over the place (I probably shouldn't mention that I was the one taking babies and handing out money). I got the good salary, but not the highest salary, so no one would try to take mine and I was just rich throughout the game. Sadly I kept handing out 100,000 donations, so I lost, BUT everyone said I won in the long run, because I was a nice person and I got to go to heaven.
LOVEZ MY SUITE.
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