Day 2

Things are MUCH better today. Yesterday I felt great until the novocaine wore off. Then I realized I was in intense pain, it made me feel so sick to eat, and I had taken 7 pills that were not settling well. So, well, everything came back out. It was one of the worst experiences of my life.

So I started cutting my pain pills in half, and I tried to get some sleep, which surprisingly worked. I woke up a lot, and around 3 I had to force feed myself more jello so I could take more pills, but it was okay.

I've been up since 7:30 and I've already eaten more today than I did all yesterday. I have energy, and I'm not sick to my stomach. There's a little pain, but I've had a constant stream of percoset, so I haven't had a chance to notice it yet. My goal for today is to finish the last episode of Avatar (I have 40 minutes left), but everytime I watch it, I take a pill, and then I full on pass out. Percoset naps are the best.

I should be back to normal soon, but I don't know when I'll be able to chew.

:)

I see Jacob in a week!!!

and things took a turn for the worst :/

Bye bye wisdom teeth!

Is it weird to say that I'm really really happy?

No, I guess not considering how much percoset I've taken.

But seriously, this has been so easy. I was so scared this morning. I had to take a moment in the waiting room and do my zen deep breathing exercises that Bryan Hooten taught us at Gov school. I was ready for the worst when they got me in the chair. I had chosen to be sedated during the procedure, and lemme tell you, it was the best decision I could have made. I got a quick and painless shot (I don't think there was any IV, but I didn't have my glasses on so I couldn't tell. Either way, it was in my upper arm and it didn't bother me at all ). The doctor told me to tell him when I got sleepy. I thought to myself, "I'm perfectly awake, how fast will I get sleepy?" Then, "I think I'm a little sleepy". Then I was gone.

I don't know how quickly it came me to come to. I was moved into a room to lie down, where I talked to my ez3mom (though I have no idea what I told her, or how, since the lower half of my face was numb from Novocaine). Aside from that and having an unpleasant amount of gauze in my mouth, I felt fine. My dad carried me to the car, I somehow conveyed that I needed a hot fudge milkshake from Nathans, and before I know I was wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, where I am now.

It sucked trying to eat the milkshake though, because you can't use straws, and my mouth was so numb that I mostly spooned it onto my shirt.

I'll write more soon. I'm feeling shakey from the pain medicine and need to go back to sleep.

Later:

So much sleeping.

Anyway. It's all been okay, except for times like right now, where the percoset is wearing off and I can't take more for an hour. Then, I'll take it and realize I hate taking it even more becase it makes me shaky and I start to sweat, before falling asleep almost immediately. But when I wake up, I'm totally blissed out. It's awesome.

I haven't gotten swollen at all. So good.

KKY is so cliquey that I could scream. Really guys, are we in high school? It's disgusting.

On a brighter note, I've had a great few days. I spent most of Friday running about town with Randall, and I spent Friday evening just sitting with Melissa and talking. Easily two of my favorite people from Osbourn. I just finished watching Scrubs Season 2, which is an impressive feat for someone who has a miniscule attention span.

Sei grande

"A pensarci bene il bello di te
E che viaggi sempre sulle mie frequenze, sei grande
Ed in certe cose sei come me
Non t'accontenti di essere una tra tante, sei grande"

Nek

      I think well of the beauty of you and you are always on my mind. You are great. And in some ways you are like me, not content to be one of many. You are great.

      Summer hasn't been too bad as of yet. I'm working on keeping myself centered, and doing things I need to do for myself. I've been stretching every day, and doing simple exercises to awaken the muscles I've been neglecting for too long. I'm taking control of my body again. Concerning my mental health, I've been doing a complete cleansing of my room. In the past 3 days I have filled 6 trashbags with old clothes and old memories.

     It was very nostalgic, and almost as if I was throwing away high school, middle school, and even elementary school Emily. I found my laser-tag scores from the band trip to Gatlinburg (I got negative points on one). I found my first real purse that Katlin, Kat, and I named "Joe", and proceeded to think of it as a person for the years I carried it. I found the first love note I ever wrote to a boy, that I never actually gave to him (Chris, 6th grade). I found an entire box of dried out blo-pens (remember those? Oh man, what a throwback). I found so many things I wanted to hold on to, but tossed into the bag with everything else. I had to get rid of everything that was not relevant to me now. And I must say, I feel really good. I enjoy being in my room. I don't feel quite like I'm suffocating anymore. I have room to breath.

     But as much as I've loved locking myself away in my room with cleaning supplies and doing crunches until my abs are screaming, I do need to get out of the house soon. I need more out of my summer.

He's only been gone three hours...

but it feels like about 100.

Things Come Full Circle

May 6, 2010:

"I may or may not have an unofficial boyfriend. I can't tell. We just met on wind ensemble tour and 5 days later I'm confused on as if I'm dating him. Ugh. Complicated. He lives in Ohio, so I certainly hope I'm not dating him. No more long distance relationships plz. He's a nerd. I wish I knew if I liked him because of him or just because I like getting attention after my wounding break up" 

 

       I can't help but smile when I see all of these little things, reminding me of this time last year. Saved texts, old blog posts, facebook comments. Just sitting here, with him across from me studying for his next final, makes me smile, because it's exactly what we were doing last year. It feels like nothing has changed, except in reality, everything has. Last year I invited him over to study, and we sat in my room awkwardly, trying to make small talk. This year, I'm using him as a footrest, and he's making obnoxious squeaking noises along to the jazz music I'm trying to study. 

      Jacob has become my best friend over the past year, and I'm so thankful to have him in my life. Today is the 9th, meaning that exactly one year ago we went on our first date- Lemongrass. We walked around in the freezing cold for a bit, we watched youtube videos in his room until his roommate came home, and we went to the Rotunda to reflect on the year- and to have our first kiss. Though we didn't officially start dating until July 19th (we wanted to wait until the school year started, but failed), the 9th/10th has always been the most important day to me. For me, it's been one year. 

     But I guess that also means the move back to a long distance relationship...